The worst things

Look, I don't want to get dramatic, but it's going to happen. I'm here to tell you the worst things about being in hospital.

-Hospital food is THE WORST! (The mere memory of it makes me do a tiny vomit in my mouth)

-Blood tests are THE WORST! (Especially when they wake you up at 6.00 in the morning to do them)

-Ward rounds are THE WORST! (Yeah sure, I'll just sit here eating breakfast while you discuss me like I can't hear you)

-Vomiting is THE WORST! (Although Weetabix does make for quite a pleasant vomiting experience)

-Anti-embollism stockings are THE WORST! (They only come in one colour as well. What's up with that?)

-Hospital gowns are THE WORST! (Inadequate dresses)

-Canulars are THE WORST! (They get in the way and they itch!)

-Calcium problems are THE WORST! (Get it together, body!)

-Calcichews are THE WORST! (There's that tiny vomit again)

-Catheters are THE WORST! (Imagine constantly peeing but never getting any kind of relief)

-Using a commode is THE WORST! (They wondered why I had trouble "going". It was a chair with a cardboard bowl attached!)

-Overhearing a doctor and a nurse discuss your poo is THE WORST! (Yeah, this happened)

-Hospital beds are THE WORST! (Weird dimensions)

-Hearing me talk about my poo, pee and vomit is THE WORST! (For you. Probably. Sorry)

-Having to take so much medication is THE WORST! (Previously I thought the three vitamins I'd been taking each day was a bit much!)

-Shoulder and neck pain is THE WORST! (Can't get comfy. Or do anything!)

-Having a really weird numb feeling in my neck and ears is THE WORST!

Okay. I'm done. I think I'm done anyway. Phew! It was so good to get that off my chest!