Today, during a train of thought, I was thinking about how I would like to go on a hike when all this treatment malarky is over. This led me to thinking about hiking in my summer camp days.
It was hard work, and I never did it without thinking a LOT of negative thoughts and having a lot of internal grumbling about it. When we got to the top though, it was all worth it! I got a real sense of accomplishment, and a lot of satisfaction. (Not to mention the joy of taking in the view!) I would be exhausted, but it was a satisfied kind of exhaustion that can only come from putting in a lot of effort. (Oh, and this one time, on the way back down, it started raining. My friend Laura and I just started running through it and yelling at the top of our lungs. Pure joy and very liberating! That has nothing to do with this. I just like the memory)
If we're using this hiking analogy, then I am not even at the top of this hill. If anything, I'm sort of mid-way, eating a pack lunch and wondering how long it's going to take to get to the top. Knowing that there's still a long way to go that's probably going to be tough.
The goal with the literal hill, was to get to the top of it. So we had no choice but to climb it. The goal with my metaphorical hill is to beat it. So I have to go through the treatments.
My literal hiking experiences were not always fun or easy, but fun to conquer. This metaphorical hiking has definitely not been fun or easy, but I know I will feel immense satisfaction when it's all over. I will come back down that hill yelling and running! I will feel good, because I put in a lot of hard work and effort.
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