That's the second time I've named a blog entry after a TV show. Hopefully I won't do one called Have I Got News For You. If I do one called Skins, then assume I've become a psychopath and call the police okay? Okay.
One day in the hospital I started crying because I wanted things to just be normal again. I wanted to be in my pyjamas, in my own bed, drinking tea out of my Simpsons mug. What didn't occur to me at the time was that my life was taking on a new definition of normal.
I'd been in hospital for so long at that point, that it was becoming normal! The next day, my sister brought me my Simpsons mug and put a cup of tea in it that she'd bought in the hospital cafe. Don't get me wrong, I really did appreciate the gesture and if that mug hadn't had tea in it, I would have cradled it like a child. Something felt a little bit weird though. It was like I'd got used to drinking tea out of the NHS mugs. Drinking from my Simpsons mug felt a bit surreal.
I've previously mentioned about how I think you can become institutionalised in hospital, and I did. To the point where, even though having to come back in was incredibly annoying and upsetting for me, I don't mind saying that part of me was kind of relieved. Some of the staff would say,"Oh, hello Adele! Are you back?" I was nearly like,"Yes! Yes I am! How have you been? What's the gossip?" That soon wore off though, and I wanted to come home again.
I was there for so long that I'd simply got comfortable with the routine. This had become my definition of normal. I knew when I would be brought medication, I knew when I would be given my main meals, I knew when I would be offered a cup of tea. I'd got to a point where I was chatting to the some of the staff like we were old friends! Once I started getting better, it was like being on a rubbish holiday.
Even now that I am out of hospital, I have a new definition of normal. Taking medication is now a normal part of my life. The scar on my neck is normal now. I am adjusting, because I have to. Eventually I will stopped being surprised by seeing my scar in my reflection. Eventually will take my medication without thinking about it (it's doubtful that I will stop whining about a certain calcium supplement though.) Hopefully I will adjust to this new lifestyle as quickly as I adjusted to being in hospital!
This, whether I like it or not, is my new normal.
Hang in there Adele, you are my hero!
ReplyDeleteRegular meds are annoying, but you do get used to them. Some of mine still annoy me to too, especially ones that need to be taken at very precious times so as not to interact poorly with other things. You do get used to it though and I mostly get it right.
ReplyDeleteIn regard to the getting used to the hospital, it is amazing how quickly we can adapt to new things, whether we like them or not. I also get your mug love. I have a giant red mug with polka dots I use for tea usually.