It's complicated

So, today was the big day. The day I would receive the results of my scan. I was pretty nervous, and couldn't really think of anything else but this appointment. I wanted it to be good news though, so that maybe it could all be over and I could just get on with lighting a bunch of pyrotechnics and having a celebration. The news that I got, was not bad news, but like I said, it's complicated.

So, there were no tumours found as far as I know, and the consultant today felt my neck and said she could not feel anything. However, she said that blood tests showed that I had high levels of thyroglobulin. Now, I did not what this was, and the consultant didn't really explain it properly (do they ever?) Mum did a quick Google when we got home, though, and discovered that where there's thyroglobulin, there's thyroid cells, which I should no longer have (cancerous or otherwise). They don't seem too worried, though (and I'm not either, really) but they want to do an MRI just to be on the safe side. I'm fine with this, I want them to be sure it's all gone before they tell me it is. My main issue, is that I have to wait till July for the results. JULY!

I came out feeling a bit deflated. I wanted it to be over. I wanted to come home and have a whole day of spreading the good news around. Instead, I've been starting conversations with,"Weeell..." and attempting to explain what is going on. Needless to say I have been sulking all day. Gradually accepting things, but sulking quite a lot as well.

I guess I wanted it to be over mostly so that I could get on with life, but I still can. Just a bit of a slower pace than I would like to be going. I really do have to be patient with myself, and easy on myself, because so much has happened and there's still more to come. The worst thing I could do is become a grumpy hermit who never does anything. It would be so easy to do that, but I'm fighting against it, and trying to find things to look forward to! Tomorrow is a new day, and I will be formulating a plan of things I can do to get back to normal (whatever the heck that is).