Treatment is done. It's been a tiring week. I don't even know how it's been so tiring actually! It's not like I've been sitting around in hospitals for hours, they're very efficient up at St.Jame's! I'm just not quite sure why I'm feeling worn out.
Still, it has been somewhat stressful. I guess some of the emotions I have felt have contributed to me being tired right now. I hadn't been up to St.James' in a long time, so it did bring about some flashbacks. Not to mention that the thyroxine did make me incredibly nauseous. I did expect it, but somehow it was even worse than last time! That made me nervous about the radioiodine itself, given how ill that made me feel last time. Fortunately, I was worrying over nothing (a hobby of mine!) The smaller dosage meant that none of the nausea I'd had before happened this time. I had a bit of tightness (another side effect that I'd expected) but other than that, it was fine.
Now I have a two-week wait until I get the results! However, even though my treatment is done, I'm by no means out of the woods on the hospital front. I still have to go for a blood test tomorrow, which I'm a little worried about. I know I've had another dip, because I could not keep anything down on Sunday, and that includes my medication.
The calcium thing is pretty much always on my mind. This week I was wondering why this seemingly constant rising and falling of levels hadn't affected on my first bout of radioiodine treatment. When I trace the timeline back in my head, I feel like I didn't really have a problem with it till afterwards. Not only that, but when I was in the BRI, they seemed to think that my parathyroid WAS working, but a recent blood test showed it wasn't. Which got me wondering if the first lot of radioiodine is the thing that somehow killed my parathyroid! Just a theory. I mean, the timeline may not even be correct, but I plan to bring it up next time I see a doctor.
I feel a little bit weird. I don't feel quite relieved just yet. I'm just still having the fear of moving forward. I know that it will be good to move on from this, and put the experience behind me, but at the same time. I feel cocooned in this state of recovery. Like, I've been institutionalised in recovery somehow, and I kind of just want to stay in it forever. It's a not a healthy perspective, I know that. It's just for almost a year now, this is all I've known and doing anything else is frightening! I think it's because before this, I was job hunting, and while I've been recovering I've not really had to think about it at all, but I will have to again at some point. On the other hand, I don't really have a routine right now. So if I could one of those back, then that would be great!
It's all up to me. To be honest, that may be the scariest part.
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