Treatment is done. It's been a tiring week. I don't even know how it's been so tiring actually! It's not like I've been sitting around in hospitals for hours, they're very efficient up at St.Jame's! I'm just not quite sure why I'm feeling worn out.
Still, it has been somewhat stressful. I guess some of the emotions I have felt have contributed to me being tired right now. I hadn't been up to St.James' in a long time, so it did bring about some flashbacks. Not to mention that the thyroxine did make me incredibly nauseous. I did expect it, but somehow it was even worse than last time! That made me nervous about the radioiodine itself, given how ill that made me feel last time. Fortunately, I was worrying over nothing (a hobby of mine!) The smaller dosage meant that none of the nausea I'd had before happened this time. I had a bit of tightness (another side effect that I'd expected) but other than that, it was fine.
Now I have a two-week wait until I get the results! However, even though my treatment is done, I'm by no means out of the woods on the hospital front. I still have to go for a blood test tomorrow, which I'm a little worried about. I know I've had another dip, because I could not keep anything down on Sunday, and that includes my medication.
The calcium thing is pretty much always on my mind. This week I was wondering why this seemingly constant rising and falling of levels hadn't affected on my first bout of radioiodine treatment. When I trace the timeline back in my head, I feel like I didn't really have a problem with it till afterwards. Not only that, but when I was in the BRI, they seemed to think that my parathyroid WAS working, but a recent blood test showed it wasn't. Which got me wondering if the first lot of radioiodine is the thing that somehow killed my parathyroid! Just a theory. I mean, the timeline may not even be correct, but I plan to bring it up next time I see a doctor.
I feel a little bit weird. I don't feel quite relieved just yet. I'm just still having the fear of moving forward. I know that it will be good to move on from this, and put the experience behind me, but at the same time. I feel cocooned in this state of recovery. Like, I've been institutionalised in recovery somehow, and I kind of just want to stay in it forever. It's a not a healthy perspective, I know that. It's just for almost a year now, this is all I've known and doing anything else is frightening! I think it's because before this, I was job hunting, and while I've been recovering I've not really had to think about it at all, but I will have to again at some point. On the other hand, I don't really have a routine right now. So if I could one of those back, then that would be great!
It's all up to me. To be honest, that may be the scariest part.
Wednesday, 19 March 2014
Friday, 14 March 2014
So close
(I could have called this, "pesky calcium part 4", but there is more than one meaning to the title of this entry. I'll get to it later)
At first I was confused as to why the doctor wanted me to reduce it, as I was doing fine. Now that I've thought about it, however, I think I know why. My calcium levels were climbing on the dosage I was on over a week ago now, so if I had stayed on that dosage I probably would have been heading for the Danger Zone. It's much easier to sort out a level that is too low than it is too sort out a level which is too high, and as much as I hate tingles that come with low calcium, the nausea that comes with high calcium might just be worse!
Now on to the second meaning of the title of this post--the last part of treatment is this week! I feel like its been coming for ages, and now it's here. I have no particularly strong feelings towards it. Maybe relief? Really I just want to get it over with. I have to take a smaller dosage of radioiodine, so I won't have to stay in hospital this time (which is GREAT because that gets really boring, really quickly) then I have a scan two days later. I'm anticipating seeing my old friend nausea this week, but hopefully it'll be okay. Send me prayers/good vibes/pictures of cute animals!
I really feel like I ought to be making some grand speech but, I'll just say thanks. For everything. Everybody who supported me and showed me love in their own little ways--thank you!
Friday, 28 February 2014
Things and stuff
First things first: the calcium is climbing up! The safest level is 2.2, and last I heard I was at 2.15. I had some blood taken on Thursday, and I have to have more taken next week. Everyone in endocrinology pretty much knows me by now! (I was going to say that I am on a first name basis with the nurses, but since they all go by their first names, that's not particularly impressive)
March officially starts tomorrow, and I am thinking of ways to make it fun! I've written before I think about how I wanted to do to things this month that were positive, so I would have positive associations with this month, rather than nicknaming it "Cancuary" as I had planned to when I first got the news about that I had thyroid cancer (my humour cam sometimes get a bit dark when I'm upset) I have a few things in the pipeline, such as an acting workshop I'm planning to go to! It's on 5th March, so I will either need to not do much do day, or take a hefty nap!
Other than that, I really have no idea what I'm doing with my life. It is the most terrifying yet liberating feeling ever! I guess I don't really have to decide right now, so I shouldn't let it keep me awake at night. No harm in forming some kind of plan, though. If I'm honest (a useful quality in a blog), fear is the thing keeping me from moving forward, but I do think that fear can be very positive. You just to have to figure out how to use it to your advantage!
OH, my last bit of treatment is coming up next month, too. I thought I would just have to have a scan, but it turns out I have to have some injections of thyroxine and then take a smaller dosage of the radioiodine capsule, before my scan. I am anticipating a lot of nausea that week, since they're side effects of the injections and radioiodine capsule. The superhero movies lied to us! If the Incredible Hulk was true to life, then Dr. Banner would probably throw up whenever he got angry. To be fair, that would probably be quite effective, but I digress...I guess that's another reason I want find fun things to do--to keep my spirits up! Monday I start a low iodine diet. It is not too bad. Most of the things I can't have I never eat anyway (kelp, for instance) so I'm not really missing out. It's mostly dairy and fish, and I quite like soy milk!
I have been feeling rather reflective lately, and I will just say that while I'm looking forward to closing this chapter of my life, I will never stop talking about my experience, because I think it is so important to let people know what can happen.
March officially starts tomorrow, and I am thinking of ways to make it fun! I've written before I think about how I wanted to do to things this month that were positive, so I would have positive associations with this month, rather than nicknaming it "Cancuary" as I had planned to when I first got the news about that I had thyroid cancer (my humour cam sometimes get a bit dark when I'm upset) I have a few things in the pipeline, such as an acting workshop I'm planning to go to! It's on 5th March, so I will either need to not do much do day, or take a hefty nap!
Other than that, I really have no idea what I'm doing with my life. It is the most terrifying yet liberating feeling ever! I guess I don't really have to decide right now, so I shouldn't let it keep me awake at night. No harm in forming some kind of plan, though. If I'm honest (a useful quality in a blog), fear is the thing keeping me from moving forward, but I do think that fear can be very positive. You just to have to figure out how to use it to your advantage!
OH, my last bit of treatment is coming up next month, too. I thought I would just have to have a scan, but it turns out I have to have some injections of thyroxine and then take a smaller dosage of the radioiodine capsule, before my scan. I am anticipating a lot of nausea that week, since they're side effects of the injections and radioiodine capsule. The superhero movies lied to us! If the Incredible Hulk was true to life, then Dr. Banner would probably throw up whenever he got angry. To be fair, that would probably be quite effective, but I digress...I guess that's another reason I want find fun things to do--to keep my spirits up! Monday I start a low iodine diet. It is not too bad. Most of the things I can't have I never eat anyway (kelp, for instance) so I'm not really missing out. It's mostly dairy and fish, and I quite like soy milk!
I have been feeling rather reflective lately, and I will just say that while I'm looking forward to closing this chapter of my life, I will never stop talking about my experience, because I think it is so important to let people know what can happen.
Thursday, 30 January 2014
Pesky medication
Oh, that's a nice wall! I'm going to go hit my head against it! Okay, I'm being dramatic. The thing I'm about to talk about is really not too bad!
I had my weekly blood test yesterday, and today I spoke to a nurse today about my results. The calcium levels are crawling up at a snail's pace. I've probably mentioned this before, but a normal calcium level is 2.2. I am 1.86, which is a mild improvement but still not ideal. I have been feeling a bit under the weather, which may be affecting it. The nurse yesterday told me that eating calcium rich foods may not help very much, but I figured it couldn't hurt either, so yoghurt has been purchased and eaten! I think I'm supposed to be upping my calcichew dosage as well, but I wasn't clear on that so I'll have to check.
During my conversation with this nurse, I asked her about waiting an hour or so between taking my thyroxine. She said I could take the thyroxine at night before I go to bed instead! On the one hand, it means I cam eat breakfast in the morning now, and I no longer have to plan my morning around thyroxine. On the other hand, if I'm upping the dosage of the calcium-related medication then I really ought to come up with some kind of schedule. I did that for a few months when I first came out of hospital, but it sort of went out the window when the dosages were rising and falling so much. (Shame, really. I was doing so well at being organised!)
So, got a little bit of good news today! Now I am far too excited about being able to eat breakfast as soon as I wake up tomorrow!
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Pesky Calcium. Part 3
The levels have dropped, yet again. The blood test I had last week showed that my parathyroid glands weren't working at all (I know. I thought they were, as well) This means I have to help my body make calcium, which is probably why the levels are dropping. As well as trying to eat as many calcium-rich foods as possible, I've also had to change the dosages on a couple of my medications.
I'm now on 0.25mg of alfacalcidol, four times a day. That's not too bad, really. The most upsetting part is that I now have to take two calcichews, twice a day. I might only take them twice a day, but each time there's TWO OF THEM!! Don't worry, I have plenty of delicious things on hand to help the medicine go down, as it were. I have asked if there's a different thing I can take, and apparently this is the best thing for me to be on, given my situation. Which is confusing to me, because when I was in hospital after my operation, a doctor said something about the endocrinologists wanting to put me on "syrups". I would like to know what changed their minds, because to me syrup=deliciousness, and I'd rather have that!
It is hard to be upbeat about it. I think the most frustrating part is that these doctors and nurses don't seem to know an awful lot about it, so it's hard to get many answers, and difficult to research. It's like the world of severe calcium deficiencies is still a mystery in some ways. I trust that all these doctors and nurses are doing everything they can though, and I am doing everything I can, as well. I often wish I had a magic mirror that I could use to see inside my body! That would be useful, wouldn't it?
I'm now on 0.25mg of alfacalcidol, four times a day. That's not too bad, really. The most upsetting part is that I now have to take two calcichews, twice a day. I might only take them twice a day, but each time there's TWO OF THEM!! Don't worry, I have plenty of delicious things on hand to help the medicine go down, as it were. I have asked if there's a different thing I can take, and apparently this is the best thing for me to be on, given my situation. Which is confusing to me, because when I was in hospital after my operation, a doctor said something about the endocrinologists wanting to put me on "syrups". I would like to know what changed their minds, because to me syrup=deliciousness, and I'd rather have that!
It is hard to be upbeat about it. I think the most frustrating part is that these doctors and nurses don't seem to know an awful lot about it, so it's hard to get many answers, and difficult to research. It's like the world of severe calcium deficiencies is still a mystery in some ways. I trust that all these doctors and nurses are doing everything they can though, and I am doing everything I can, as well. I often wish I had a magic mirror that I could use to see inside my body! That would be useful, wouldn't it?
Sunday, 12 January 2014
Eating better
So, since finding out that my calcium was very low, I've been trying to take steps to make that better. One step was of course, to raise the dosage of my medication (though as I type this, I'm due to take a calcichew) The other step was to "eat myself better" as a friend put it. So, I've been trying to eat foods that are rich in calcium, but to be honest, I could be eating better full stop.
I do try to have a balanced diet. Trouble is, the scales tend to tip towards the unhealthy foods. I like stuff that is unhealthy, and sorry to say, but I'm an emotional eater. I did not use to be, but I think it started when my dad was in hospital and I, unfortunately, ate my feelings because I didn't know what else to do with them. I got a bit stressed out about something the other day, and thankfully I managed not to turn to food for comfort, but it was really difficult.
New Year, New Start is kind of a cliche, but it's true. Of course, every day that you wake up is a chance for a fresh start, but there's something about starting a new year and saying,"Yeah! New me! Old Me got left behind in 2013! New me loves moderation and doesn't cry into a bargain bucket when things get too much!"
I'm not talking about following some kind of meal plan (though that probably wouldn't hurt) Just making more sensible choices about what I eat. I know what's good for me and what isn't. Of course, there can be "hidden nasties", but it's not like I'm going to eat a raspberry jam-filled doughnut because I think it counts towards my five-a-day!
Frankly, I can't believe that I've only just realised I should start being healthier, but now that I've had this realisation, hopefully I can start forming better habits and taking care of myself. Then maybe I won't feel so run down all the time!
Now, to take my medicine and resist a doughnut.
I do try to have a balanced diet. Trouble is, the scales tend to tip towards the unhealthy foods. I like stuff that is unhealthy, and sorry to say, but I'm an emotional eater. I did not use to be, but I think it started when my dad was in hospital and I, unfortunately, ate my feelings because I didn't know what else to do with them. I got a bit stressed out about something the other day, and thankfully I managed not to turn to food for comfort, but it was really difficult.
New Year, New Start is kind of a cliche, but it's true. Of course, every day that you wake up is a chance for a fresh start, but there's something about starting a new year and saying,"Yeah! New me! Old Me got left behind in 2013! New me loves moderation and doesn't cry into a bargain bucket when things get too much!"
I'm not talking about following some kind of meal plan (though that probably wouldn't hurt) Just making more sensible choices about what I eat. I know what's good for me and what isn't. Of course, there can be "hidden nasties", but it's not like I'm going to eat a raspberry jam-filled doughnut because I think it counts towards my five-a-day!
Frankly, I can't believe that I've only just realised I should start being healthier, but now that I've had this realisation, hopefully I can start forming better habits and taking care of myself. Then maybe I won't feel so run down all the time!
Now, to take my medicine and resist a doughnut.
Friday, 3 January 2014
So much to say
Get comfy, I'm about to bring you up to date with my life.
It's 2014! Yowzers! Time for a fresh start. I am a bit worn out after an action-packed December! I tried to take it easy as much as possible, but December is a month packed with social occasions, and it was hard. I made some sacrifices, but I still did as much as I could. I do know my limits, but unfortunately I have been pushing them a bit.
I was thinking the other day that, even with going through cancer, I still had a really good year. My cancer treatment is merely an ugly ink blotch on the chapter of my life that was 2013. I still had some good times in and amongst diagnosis and treatment. (Mind you, I don't really remember anything that happened in 2013 before my diagnosis) If I have any regrets from 2013, it's that I definitely didn't take enough pictures!
Even though I have not had it checked out, I think that the vocal chord that got damaged is back to normal, so at the end of last year I bit the bullet and performed again! I was itching to get back out there and get bitten by the bug again, so I went for it. I'd missed a good sing!
It's time to look ahead now. Move on! I've bought a massive jar to fill with good memories, and I will hopefully fill it to the brim! (If anything, I would like to get to the point where I need a whole new jar!)
In March, I will be back up to St. James' for thyroxine injections, then I will take a dose of radioiodine which is much smaller (I won't have to stay in hospital this time, but I will have to avoid children under 16, and pregnant women, for 24 hours) then I have a radioiodine scan. Then, on April 1st of all days, I will have an appointment with the consultant who will tell me whether or not I am all clear!
Yesterday I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. Just a check-up, but over the course of November and December I'd been experiencing a lot of low calcium symptoms, which I'd originally put down to iffy immunity, because it seemed to coincide with colds and such. So, by that logic, I was hoping the symptoms would pass when the cold got better. It also seemed to be affecting my nerve endings, which was making hot baths unbearable! Not ideal in winter...Or ever, for that matter! At any rate, I assumed my symptoms would get better when I did, so it wasn't worth ringing endocrinology and telling them. However, when I told the endocrinology doctor about all this, the look on her face told me that none of this was normal, and she sent me for a blood test. Later on that day, the endocrinology nurse rang me with the news. Now, I think I've mentioned before that a normal calcium level is 2. Mine was 1.68. No wonder I'd been feeling so weird! So, I've upped the dosage of my alfacalcidol ever so slightly (from 0.25 nanograms, to 0.5 micrograms) and per the advice of a friend, I am going to try to eat lots of calcium enriched foods (maybe not yoghurt. I ate so many in hospital I'm not sure I want to eat one ever again!) Hopefully I can level it out now and I won't become nauseous!
I've also been going to Bradford Cancer Support. It is a lovely place! I've had a massage there, and a session with the life coach who is going to help me get things back on track! It's just nice to have a place like that to go to.
I feel like a good New Year's Resolution for me would be to stop neglecting this blog.
It's 2014! Yowzers! Time for a fresh start. I am a bit worn out after an action-packed December! I tried to take it easy as much as possible, but December is a month packed with social occasions, and it was hard. I made some sacrifices, but I still did as much as I could. I do know my limits, but unfortunately I have been pushing them a bit.
I was thinking the other day that, even with going through cancer, I still had a really good year. My cancer treatment is merely an ugly ink blotch on the chapter of my life that was 2013. I still had some good times in and amongst diagnosis and treatment. (Mind you, I don't really remember anything that happened in 2013 before my diagnosis) If I have any regrets from 2013, it's that I definitely didn't take enough pictures!
Even though I have not had it checked out, I think that the vocal chord that got damaged is back to normal, so at the end of last year I bit the bullet and performed again! I was itching to get back out there and get bitten by the bug again, so I went for it. I'd missed a good sing!
It's time to look ahead now. Move on! I've bought a massive jar to fill with good memories, and I will hopefully fill it to the brim! (If anything, I would like to get to the point where I need a whole new jar!)
In March, I will be back up to St. James' for thyroxine injections, then I will take a dose of radioiodine which is much smaller (I won't have to stay in hospital this time, but I will have to avoid children under 16, and pregnant women, for 24 hours) then I have a radioiodine scan. Then, on April 1st of all days, I will have an appointment with the consultant who will tell me whether or not I am all clear!
Yesterday I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. Just a check-up, but over the course of November and December I'd been experiencing a lot of low calcium symptoms, which I'd originally put down to iffy immunity, because it seemed to coincide with colds and such. So, by that logic, I was hoping the symptoms would pass when the cold got better. It also seemed to be affecting my nerve endings, which was making hot baths unbearable! Not ideal in winter...Or ever, for that matter! At any rate, I assumed my symptoms would get better when I did, so it wasn't worth ringing endocrinology and telling them. However, when I told the endocrinology doctor about all this, the look on her face told me that none of this was normal, and she sent me for a blood test. Later on that day, the endocrinology nurse rang me with the news. Now, I think I've mentioned before that a normal calcium level is 2. Mine was 1.68. No wonder I'd been feeling so weird! So, I've upped the dosage of my alfacalcidol ever so slightly (from 0.25 nanograms, to 0.5 micrograms) and per the advice of a friend, I am going to try to eat lots of calcium enriched foods (maybe not yoghurt. I ate so many in hospital I'm not sure I want to eat one ever again!) Hopefully I can level it out now and I won't become nauseous!
I've also been going to Bradford Cancer Support. It is a lovely place! I've had a massage there, and a session with the life coach who is going to help me get things back on track! It's just nice to have a place like that to go to.
I feel like a good New Year's Resolution for me would be to stop neglecting this blog.
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